When I was a kid growing up in Toronto, children were chastised, and often punished, for using profanity. A common parental warning was, “I’m going wash your mouth out with soap if you talk like that again.” In the presence of children, adults were careful to avoid swear words.
These days, it’s understandable if children perceive using vulgarity as a requirement to become successful comedians, social media influencers, CEOs of major banks, and a close confidant of America’s president.
JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon, often likened to the David Rockefeller of our times, has made it official that potty mouth in public is acceptable. In a recent town hall with company employees in Columbus, Ohio, where the bank has a substantial presence, Dimon was unequivocal in his insistence that he wouldn’t back down from his order that all his minions work from their offices five days a week, an online petition protesting the mandate notwithstanding.
“I don’t care how many people sign that f-cking petition,” Dimon said during the town hall, according to a Bloomberg report crediting Reuters for first obtaining a transcript. Dimon also shared that he wasn’t enamored with many DEI initiatives, including some of JPMorgan’s.
“I saw how we were spending money on some of this stupid sh-t, and it really pissed me off,” Dimon reportedly said. “I’m just gonna cancel them. I don’t like wasted money in bureaucracy.”
No doubt there are legions of chief people officers and PR persons who will praise Dimon for his “authentic” heartfelt communication. It’s unlikely that many JPM employees were offended, as vulgarity appears common and acceptable among Dimon’s managers.
Fortune’s Luisa Beltran reported that Nicolas Welch, an analyst in tech ops, was promptly fired after confronting Dimon at the town hall about his back to work mandate. Welch immediately received a text from Garrett Monaghan, whose title is Vice President – Branch HelpDesk.
“I don’t know what the fu-k you just did, but come to my desk immediately when that town hall ends. Please.”, Monaghan’s text message instructed. When Welch arrived to meet with Monaghan in a small conference room, Jeffrey Todd Merrill, Vice President – Global Dedicated IT Support, was waiting for him. Welch claimed that Monaghan told him he had “just dragged our whole organization through the mud. Go and clean off your desk and get the fu-k out of here.”
Welch subsequently received a call from Megan Mead, director of global IT support, who apparently speaks with more refinement than her JPM colleagues, assuring him that he still had a job. Mead later messaged Welch: “I appreciate you, Nic and I am really proud about how you responded to a pretty unfair circumstance.”
I confess that I, too, use vulgarity, and sometimes very inappropriately. It wouldn’t surprise me if I’m a living legend vulgarian among call center workers in India and the Philippines who have endured my cussing and screaming when I became angered with their useless script reading after waiting an interminably long time to speak with them “due to unusually heavy call volume.”
I’d be especially embarrassed if my comments to chatbots became public.
Still, I’m careful about my language in postings on LinkedIn, the only social media site I’m on because most users avoid vulgarity in their postings. I mostly avoid spelling out vulgar words in this blog because it cheapens the content. I’m following the lead of Bloomberg, the gold standard of business journalism, which also avoids spelling out vulgar words, despite catering to a Wall Street constituency whose language likely could even make Jamie Dimon blush.
That would include founder Mike Bloomberg, who in his day was allegedly known for salty comments and making ribald jokes that some women considered sexist and inappropriate. I thought perhaps that Bloomberg’s restraint spelling out vulgar words was due to its editor John Micklethwait being an erudite Brit who studied at Oxford, authored six books, and speaks with a posh British accent seemingly exuding superior intelligence.
Turns out, even across the pond Brits increasingly prefer vulgarity to “bloody hell” when expressing their displeasures.
The UK’s Guardian last year published this story about swearing becoming more acceptable over the past two decades, which linguistic experts attributed to being used for other purposes than to insult people.
“Fu-k” and “sh-t”, are the two most swearwords in the UK, frequently used to emphasize a point in conversation or to build social bonds, rather than with the specific intent to offend, according to academic researchers. BBC anchor Mishal Husain swore seven times in under a minute during an interview with the home secretary, James Cleverly, addressing previous profanity-laced comments that Cleverly allegedly made.
One of them was referring to a person or place as a “shithole,” a term President Trump previously used in reference to Haiti, El Salvador, and some African countries. Democrats have their potty mouthed representatives, including Michigan Rep. Rashida Tlaib, who called Trump a “motherf-cker” when she promised to vote to impeach him during his first term.
My first exposure to pervasive public vulgarity was in the early 90s when I performed as a stand-up comic in New York City (yes, yours truly moonlighted as a comedian). Virtually every comedian peppered their acts with gratuitous profanity, and many of the female performers were especially vulgar. I judiciously avoided profanity in my act, except for one instance when it was so unexpected it caused the audience to break out in laughter.
Vulgarity was allowed and became common on Twitter, where using swear words almost seem mandatory. Here’s a vintage post from comedian Sarah Silverman, who I don’t find all that funny or perceive as all that likable, expressing her dislike for a comment Trump made dismissing climate change.
I wonder if even on Twitter, since rebranded as X, anyone was influenced or inspired because of Silverman’s insights. Silverman does voiceovers in movies for Disney, a company that once aggressively promoted a wholesome image and family values.
X’s vulgarian-in-chief is owner Elon Musk, who had this to say about those who dared question his support of U.S. tech companies increasing their use of temporary H-1B workers from India.
Using vulgarity has lost its shock value, something that Hillary Clinton understands and appreciates. Clinton in private is legendary for her foul mouthed tirades. As an example, while preparing for a presidential debate session with Trump, Clinton reportedly unleashed her inner Jamie Dimon.
“‘You want authentic, here it is!’ she reportedly yelled at aides, followed by “a fu-k-laced fusillade about what a ‘disgusting’ human being Trump was and how he didn’t deserve to even be in the arena.”
Yet when Clinton disparaged Trump’s supporters at a fundraising event, she called them “deplorables”, a considerably more powerful and memorable putdown than deriding them as ‘a-holes’ or ‘f-ckin losers.’
I’m aware that I need to get with the program and that it’s only a matter of time when I go to synagogue and hear a rabbi deliver a profanity-laced sermon. I’ve even given some thought to cashing in and publishing a more modern-day translation of the Bible.
Here’s a sample passage:
And Moses descended from Mount Sinai carrying his divinely inspired PowerPoint presentation featuring 10 lifestyle commandments. He became fucking angry upon witnessing the Israelites worshiping a golden calf they created from golden earrings and shitty ornaments they melted down.
“You goddamn motherfuckers,” Moses bellowed because text messaging hadn’t yet been invented. “I disappear for a spell to climb this mountain after leading you through this shithole desert, and you create this bullshit golden calf to worship? FUCK YOU people!
“You really think you’re chosen? My ass.”
In a fit of anger, Moses heaved the custom crafted stone tablets he received from God, symbolizing a termination of the covenant he had negotiated with the Almighty – one that came with punitive breakup fees more onerous than a private equity acquisition.
God never forgot or forgave the unfaithfulness of those created in the Almighty’s image. Millenniums later when they began worshiping at the altars of technology, God created Microsoft, sentencing humankind to eternal damnation in cybersecurity hell.
For good measure, God also took away their ability to think and reason, replacing these capabilities with artificial intelligence.
Perhaps Jamie Dimon would be interested in financing my bible project. I know he’d appreciate the language!