Mazel Tov Michigan Rep. Rashida Tlaib! How awesome you’ve been crowned the “2023 Antisemite of the Year” and finally gotten the international recognition you so richly deserve. It’s impressive that you bested Hamas leader Ismail Haniyeh and supermodel Gigi Hadid. The judges were clearly moved by your “aspirational” chants of “From the River to the Sea.”

I imagine the folks in Dearborn are mighty proud of their Congresswoman. It’s unfortunate that the Dearborn Independent, with its illustrious history of Jew hatred, isn’t still publishing as I’m sure the publication would be rushing out a commemorative special edition in your honor. Hopefully, the Detroit Free Press will give your award its prominent due, particularly since the newspaper proudly endorsed your reelection without citing even one accomplishment you achieved in your first term.

Perhaps Hamtramck’s city council will name a street Tlaib Avenue to complement the city’s newly named Palestine Ave.  New York has Times Square and Los Angeles has Hollywood and Vine, and an intersection of Palestine and Tlaib in Hamtramck would call attention to the pervasive Jew hatred in that forlorn city. I trust you will alert Queers for Palestine to avoid bringing Pride flags to any Hamtramck celebrations as they are banned in the city. It would be a shame if festivities in your honor were marred by gays getting pushed off roofs.

Not a good image for the “progressive” narrative the mainstream media peddles about you.

I’m sure you’re disappointed, as am I, that former Michigan Rep. Andy Levin, hasn’t graciously acknowledged your award. You remember Andy, don’t you? He once proudly called you his “comrade” and assured Michigan’s Jewish community that “Rashida is not antisemitic, full stop.” Guess the folks at Stop Antisemitism, the organization that conferred you its coveted award, don’t place much stock in Levin’s views. Maybe it’s because he’s a Harvard graduate.

Henry Ford Health likely will want to honor you given its silence about the accompanying photo. How cool is that? A hospital founded by one of the greatest Jew haters of the 20th century celebrating one of the great Jew haters of the 21st. You’ll look awesome in one of those Henry Ford Health sweatshirts a presumed staffer wore at a recent well attended rally held by the Michigan branch of the Arab American Medical Association at a rival hospital.

It’s my hope that your trips to Hamtramck or HFH won’t require you to drive the quarter mile or so portion of 14th Street near Michigan Central and Detroit’s mobility district. It’s America’s first wireless charging road but unfortunately an Israeli company is responsible for the innovative technology. I guess someone in Detroit’s city hall didn’t hear yours and Rep. Ilan Omar’s  calls for a boycott of Israel or possibly didn’t choose to heed them. With Omar having been named the 2019 “Antisemite of the Year” the “squad” has certainly boosted its creds with the Jew hating crowd so maybe you’ll have better luck in the future.

Tlaib Twitter photo

Oh, and you might want to delete that photo of you proudly sitting in an electric Ford F-150 Lightning pickup truck. The truck is likely outfitted with the Mappo travel app, which Ford’s R&D facility in Israel developed in partnership with an Israeli company. Hate to break this to you, but GM has an even bigger R&D facility in Israel.

Being named “Antisemite of the Year” comes with great benefits but also considerable responsibility. No doubt you’ll be getting campaign contributions hand over fist, and you’re going to need some help managing all the loot to avoid another campaign finance violation.

Might I suggest you contact Steve Marino, the Michigan Representative who boasted that he’s “a Jew with my money.” Even Ilan Omar has acknowledged the Benjamin-management skills of Jews so tapping into Marino’s business expertise could be beneficial. Besides, next to Marino, you come across as one of Michigan’s more mature and thoughtful political leaders.

I imagine your cell has been ringing incessantly with calls from Harvard, Penn, and MIT to give this year’s commencement addresses. These fine institutions will welcome your unabashed Jew hatred, providing it’s delivered within the “context” of a commencement address. Make sure to include the University of Michigan on your rounds, giving that protesters at your state’s most prestigious school were chanting “From the River” months before it was fashionable on college campuses.

The media is going to want more of your time, particularly the BBC and MSNBC, who I assure you will give you the Al Jazeera kid gloves treatment, as will Canada’s government owned CBC.

Speaking of Canada, don’t be surprised if Prime Minister Justin Trudeau invites you to address Parliament, where legislators possibly will give you the same rousing applause they gave Yaroslav Hunka, who fought for the Nazis. Make nice to Deputy Prime Minister Chrystia Freeland and maybe she’ll share some family photos of her Nazi collaborator grandfather.

Don’t be fooled by Trudeau’s happy socks. Canadians really did elect him their prime minister, not once but three times.

While in Canada, make sure you visit Toronto. I know you’ve been critical about policing in America, but you’ll love the men and women serving on Toronto’s police force. Not only do they stand idly by at anti-Israel demonstrations, but some have also been known to serve protesters coffee.

Congratulations again, Rashida, on your well-deserved honor, which no doubt will lead to bigger and better things. Unfortunately for Michiganders, when much of the world thinks Pure Michigan, you immediately come to mind.  

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